Monday, December 7, 2009

Christmas 08,



Just a little boy standing in the storm....
He was just a little boy standing in the storm with his nose pressed firmly against the glass..His looked like he could "will" himself inside. He was nearly a part of the Christmas window he'd stood so long. He was staring. He was wishing. He was filled with hope. If there was a Santa, Perhaps; just perhaps he would bring him his hearts desire. He knew there WAS one. Wasn't he sitting on a white throne attended by elfs in the OTHER window? Were there no children lined up to speak with him? He had already told his wish to Santa. If he told anyone else....Would his wish go up in smoke, like his Birthday wish had done? He watched Christmas Fairies cavort in the window. The toy soldiers stood at attention on their wooden legs while the train went steadily around and around and around. The Christmas tree bore brightly bubbling lights in red, blue and green.Gaily wrapped Packages were strewn about,beneath it's boughs, as if in wait for a small child to come and tear them asunder. An angel dressed all in white stood at it's top, holding candles aloft to light the way to another little boy in another time, at another place.. Silent, seemingly alone he stood. He seemed to be dreaming. He wasn't ragged or worn. He was not dressed with any sort of style. BUT, he was clean!. He was clean and his hair was combed. He was there with hope in his heart. His only thought was what he wanted Most for Christmas.He held his hands tightly clenched in snow damped gloves while he stood. His Snow covered lashes barely contained the look of avarice in his big blue eyes. His "watch cap" as his Daddy called it; was cocked a bit to one side so his blond hair showed how much he needed a hair cut. He had no boots, only basketball shoes covered his cold feet. Yet, he stood on. He waited patiently while the roar of cars slithering through ice covered city streets seemed not to seep in to his mind at all. He had tried prayer, He had yet to be answered. He was going to try Santa. There was only one thing he wanted for Christmas. Perhaps Santa could provide. He'd tried talking to Jesus in Church. He'd seen the Baby Jesus in the Manger out front of the church and stopped to talk to him personal like. The stone baby was not listening. Santa was flesh and Blood. Perhaps he would hear....Perhaps he would have the answer to his only Christmas wish. Nay! It was more of a Christmas Prayer. He stood rooted to the ground in front of the festive window. He didn't take his eyes from the angel. Not even the Santa on the corner got his attention, now.....He was sure she "winked" at him! Maybe the stone child in the pretend manger was listening after all. Maybe the animals in the manger were going to talk about him tonight. Maybe....Just Maybe, his Daddy would come home from Something called the "Tet offensive" whole and safe after all..... Today an old man stands bent with age. His hands are worn with hard work. His gloves are ragged, his feet are cold. He stands before the same window. He stopped to pray before the same stone child. He even gave the ancient wooden sheep a small pat on the head as he walked slowly away. It seemed to him he had done this all before in his long ago past. He'd stood at that very window, Wishing, praying.....His old faded blue eyes filled with tears. The cane he grasp shook in the cold. The cars he could not hear were not so big. They didn't growl so loud or sound so fierce. Still they slithered along on wet iced city streets. People didnt' seem to see him standing bent in prayer as he had been so many years ago. Then he had prayed to the angel atop the tensil covered tree. Now he knew, He had no doubt at all. The Santa at the corner would not help him the Santa who now rested on the same Shopworn throne in the same window was of no use at all. Nor, were the stone statues going to answer his prayers. Still he prayed as he had prayed before. He prayed now for the safety of his Grandson. That was then That was Viet Nam. That was a country in a jungle. His prayers were answered then.... Would they be answered now...Would his Grandson come home safe from this desert country. Would He help to free people who were locked into horrors we were blessed to never see !! When he was done would he too come home? The little boy, now old and worn, still prayed as he did then......He still stood stark still as he had then....The Tall toy soldiers had new coats of paint. The sugar plum Fairies wore new costumes.....and he prayed for the safety of a new loved one....That he too would be home for the Next Christmas, He prayed that he be kept safe to come home to his sons. He prayed while people who seemed not to notice walked past, people who seemed not to see, people who listened to the strains of "Santa Claus is Coming." Just as those others had so many years ago.......Once more the Angel at the top of the Glittering tree seemed to wink at him, before he ceased his vigel and walked slowly toward home...still whispering his prayer of HOPE and love as he did when he was a boy....Who's Daddy was in a different war, in a different time, in a different world.....When an Angel's "wink" seemed to confirm that God was smiling upon him.....Perhaps God still smiled.....ONLY time would tell!






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Saturday, December 5, 2009

How to get the old man to work around the house! Who was guilty? you decide!

A sweet little old lady with white hair and a dazzling smile told me this story.....Nope ! It wasn't Mom.......she would of never of told this story on herself!

This is,Her narration as close as I can remember, she's been dead and gone for several years...Besides, It's not like she was gonna' tell me the story again so I could write it for anyone else to read!!....Outta' the blue, she told me like THIS!

"I don't want you to be shocked by this.I was asleep, and I felt like I had to fart....I had no idea, it was anything but a fart...you know Laura, I have to take Milk of Mag every night to keep that working :any way!" I was a little shocked, for her to blurt out this story as she did. That is, with no prompting from ME. I wouldn't have missed it for the world!

"Well! I let 'er rip!" She smiled a big wise, old lady grin!" When I realized just what happened I was so disgusted.There was no use to run to the outhouse, I'd done the deed already...back then we didn't have no showers or tubs....we barely could afford rags!" She scratched her head a little."I sure used the heck out of that one!"

" I remember plain as day!" She had me at that entrance! She didn't need to embellish with truths about the depression era!"An old flower sack stood in for a wash cloth! We made lots of things out of flour sacks, We made curtains, night gowns and under drawers! When they were all worn out, we made rags out of them, there was rags to wash with, rags to dust with...and rags to tie your hair in curls! The stink that night would of curled your hair without them rags!"

She went back to her story."I was so quiet when I got outta' bed..I barely moved the blankets back, and slipped out of that bed......I lived in fear of wakin' that old man of mine! I really did NOT want to give him ammunition! He was always givin' me a bad time about any little thing! He enjoyed giving me grief! Remember, that big tomato you sent up here for us! It was huge, and red, and sweet. That mean old Fart ate it, every bite. He ate it in front of me and didn't give me one bite! I was still mad at him for THAT!" She was smiling again, I knew something interesting was coming!

" I got out of that bed and slipped soundlessly out of that room I fairly ran in to wash up.....wheweeeee! It stunk!.... I was sure It was all over me, but Somehow it seemed to me I MISSED my night gown....hummmmm!!! I wondered how that happened....while I stripped it off and took me a "wash".... I like to never get that smell out of my nose! Wow! I scrubbed and scrubbed and I could still smell it....Maybe I stepped in it!

"Ewwww! I thought," How embarrassing.The old man ain't ever gonna let me live this one down!!! " I thought that all to myself.After all, I didn't want to wake him up, talkin' to myself!..You know how you do sometimes! I was just amazed I didn't get my night gown all soiled....I was gon'na put on a new one any way! Maybe, there was some on it somewhere I didn't see.....I sure could smell it!"

"Mind Yah!...I wasn't ever gonna tell anyone this story....I was just gonna sneak back into bed and keep my mug shut......Don't you be tellin' anyone....Well! Anyone that knows ME!" She actually winked!

" I put on a different night gown cause I fancied could still smell it. I tip- tip- tippy- toed back to bed. I was quiet as a mouse! I really didn't want to wake up that old man!" She gestured with her hands about tippy toein' it up to bed...

She was nearly whispering."I folded the blankets back real careful like, so as not to wake him. Then I 'bout gagged....cause I got a real whiff!.... I threw back the bedding.....What A MESS!"

"Wake up! Old man! You done Shat the bed!" I whopped him with what ever came to hand.I beat him with an old rubber slipper, that fit over his "Romeos!" I was mad as a hornet....How dare him make a mess like that! He done got it all over me, Too! I was just to mad to think about what I was doing!"

"Up till then,Hubby was still sleeping like a rock..When he came to life it was with the realization .That he was sleepin in a stink so bad it would curl his eye brows!..The trap door on his long johns was down and it was Full! WHY that "S.O.B."...I thought to myself ...

I think that is when it dawned on me," 'twas my farts woke me up....My churning stomach...What was the chances of both of us having "green apple quick step" in the middle of the night? Somehow it flew over there and Filled up his drawers! It made some big stinky spatters on that bed , Too!"

I was beside myself with embarrassment!" She wiggled in her chair, she was still embarrassed to think of her actions.

"I couldn't back down NOW! I'd already woke the sleeping logger! What a wakin' up he GOT! He was stinkin' and smellin' and beat and battered! I knew in my own mind it was NOT his stink! I wasn't gonna' tell him that though; it was to damn late to wake him up gentle like!" She reddened like a school girl!

"So what could I do?" I Told him." Get Your lazy arse up and go wash!" Really Laura, I had to fix that bed...."

"I wasn't gonna sleep in my own stink!......" But of course I wasn't gonna' tell him who's stink it really was!

"Now the old man is gone, I'm kinda' ashamed of myself I didn't tell him it was me.....but, I really needed those shelves put into the root cellar....And he was so ashamed for "poopin'" on me---- he was sure good to work around the old place for a few days!He even mowed the lawn and got that new screen door up I'd been a-wantin' for a couple years!

Sleep well....and be careful of that Milk of Magnesia!

Laurel....








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Thursday, November 26, 2009

All trails lead to the OUTHOUSE!



Awwww the Outhouse, Every trail on the farm seemed to end at that uncelebrated necessity of homestead living!

Like most Outhouses ours was utilitarian, not pretty! It was on the hill. clear across the yard from both the spring and the creek! That put it above the drive ....above the house....and quite an interesting hike when one was in a hurry on a snowy day!!! It was always best to take the garden trail cause one could ease up that hill instead of climbing like a mountain goat to the top of a hill. There were no stairs, It never dawned on Dad they would be a welcome way of reaching the "necessary house". After all was said and done he was all man. The whole world was his toilet....Roosters are said to say "cock a doodle Dooo" old farmers and farm kids sing out "any Bush will DO!"Their Daughters and wives did not share that spiritt!

The outhouse was a one board thick clap board,function....You could watch for car coming up the road, through the spaces in the boards. There was no half moon on the door!Since the door was hung with old chunks of leather, very often there was no door....Till the ladies of the house complained long and loud! In the summer there were splinters,DON'T ASK! when it rained outside, it often rained inside and since the water from the whole roof was channeled through the cracks in the ceiling it could be raining harder on the inside, than the outside! "Rain me a river!" There was no heat to melt the snow on the roof! Of course there was the wind. It did relieve the smell a bit and ruffled the feathers of the wrens that had the bad idea of nesting in the eaves, making their own large mess on the outside...A different sort of course to run to get to the house in a hurry!

Dad put in a coffee can full of lime, to kill the smell, the idea was to follow all "solid matter"with a scoop of lime to kill the smell. The reality was, NOTHIN would kill that smell.

The posies Mom planted all around the outside did not rival the aroma from the inside!So there you have an idea of how it looked from our front door. It was a short"L" shaped drive,It was best to have someone direct a driver when they backed their car around...

One of the neighbors came up for aload of hay, from the alfalfa field that stretched as far as one could see down through the draw and was our REAL front yard! The brothers bailed and lifted it onto the truck as high as they could pile it! The more they loaded the better the price. A lady ws backing the truck out with her wide spaced mirrors she obviously did not know how to use! Her son directed it! Back up Maw!More! More....cut it sharp! She did as she was directed! Till BAM! "Then he yelled"STOP"!

I think she already had the idea!!She hit just blow the Outhouse, and darn near loaded it onto her truck with the huge load of hay....In truth if it had not been loaded so full, I think she would have had it in the bed of the truck with her!

Dad observed to Mom, "See why I don't put up steps?"







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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

This old house

I've fiddled round all summer, like the ant and the grass hopper. My fiddle won't feed me
come winter. I bought the heaters I wanted for my home....which reminds me of the
old home and the wood stove....
A wood stove is almost a living being. It alternates between belching heat and smoke.
One never knows when it will do either. We had a tall living room wood stove in the
cabin on the hill. My brothers regularly fed it whole large logs to keep us warm. First
they had to cut it down from our woods, and bring it into the yard with a work horse,
that hated to be worked. She didn't mind pulling six or eight kids on sleds while one
of us rode her through the deep meadows. She just didn't care for pulling logs. She
would come on like the poor poor horsey with a broken leg! Till my brother begged
and cajoled her into being hooked to the logging "rig."
Those eleven and twelve year old boys sawed down the tree of Dad's choice
with an old Mc Collogh chain saw......I think that was how it was spelled....my memory
is as old as I...any way, can you imagine turning eleven and twelve year olds lose
to fell a tree with a gas powered saw in the middle of a hundred acre woods....NO
cell phones either!

Sometimes the bears watched them as they worked! The only
thing between them and the bear was a belching, bellowing chain saw that probably
wouldn't cut butter unless a lot of pressure was involved! Once the tree was fell, the
"bumped the knots"/ limbed the tree, and hooked it onto a cable, that was in
turn hooked to the tack on the old work horse who was
expected to be docile and drag that log into the wood lot beside the house. She would
do that, in her own fashion. It took a lot of work to get just a little work out of that
horse.

Once they got the wood brought to the wood lot, they sawed into stove lengths,
chopped it and piled it, then carted a load into the house to keep us fed and warm.
Mom had a wood fed, cook stove which was hooked to a water tank so we
had warm water to do dishes and take a bath in the middle of the kitchen in
her wash tub. The whole idea of modesty was not applicable in this day and age.

The whole idea of fresh bath water was a foreign concept. There were six of
us then, and the wash tub was filled for Dad, then Mom.....each in accordance
with their age. I was last, behind the brother who sang, "I peed in the bath tub!"
While he danced around in a flour sack towel! That water was "well used"
before I ever got my turn....and I doubt that brother was lying a bit with his
little song!

The way to the toilet was, out the kitchen door follow the path, walk due East to
the little building that stood on the hill. You wouldn't need to see it, One
could smell it FIRST! You could also hear it buzz. Even with lime the flys loved it.
No one wanted to tarry on the pot. The only reason there was two holes was cause
no one wanted to go alone after dark! We had cougars.

One night we came home late to hear a bawling. We looked for a calf at first..
Then we discovered two bear cubs high in a tree in the mountain behind our house.
We had a cousin with us,whom we had to nearly tie to the truck to keep him off the
hill. He wanted to go grab a cub! We had to convince him the Mama was near by!










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Thursday, July 23, 2009

This is neat.....from Libby News paper....

It’s 5:30 in the morning and Annette Fosgate is boiling hundreds of eggs in her small kitchen.

She heaves the oversized pot of breakfast onto a motor scooter, and cradles it between her knees as she rides toward the squatter’s village along the beach. As makeshift shacks come into view – homes made from woven grass, palm fronds, bamboo and pieces of tin – dozens of grubby, barefoot children race toward her.

“Ate Annette! Ate Annette!” they cry, savoring the smiles and hugs she generously doles out.

The children’s normal diet rarely diverges from rice and, occasionally, fish. The daily treats that Fosgate provides – boiled eggs, bananas, sweet potatoes and soup – are beyond their means, though it costs the Libby native only $10 to feed the nearly 100 children.

Before they head off to school, Fosgate introduces a Bible lesson. She helps them memorize scriptures through song and learn basic stories of the Bible.

Fosgate has found her calling at the squatter’s village in Panglao, Philippines on an island less than 10 miles long and five miles wide. She spent a year developing Simple Faith Ministries – a one-woman undertaking that served children breakfast, Bible studies, arts and crafts and other lessons. The work was exhausting, and the missionary grew beyond what one person could handle.

She will return to Panglao next month after spending the summer in Libby, but this time, two other local residents – Dave and Beth Iliff – will follow, tripling the missionary’s staff.

“I saw these other possibilities for reaching people, and I just couldn’t fulfill it all – I’m just one person,” Fosgate said. “So when they (the Iliffs) came and said, ‘We’d like to fill it,’ it was an answer to a prayer.”

Fosgate first spotted the natural beauty of Panglao Island over four years ago while she was on vacation visiting friends. In her month-long stay she became acquainted with the children through people who lived in the squatter’s village and through a small church that performed limited outreach.

“I saw the poverty, I met the kids in the squatters area and I just fell in love with them,” Fosgate said. “I couldn’t get them out of my mind.”

Fosgate eventually took the plunge and moved to Panglao. With a motor scooter, a one-bedroom apartment that she shared with a translator, and donations from Libby and Troy residents, she formed her ministry.

More and more children attended the breakfast feedings and after-school program as trust built between Fosgate and the children.

“Just being there every day and being faithful to show up, they started realizing that ‘Ate Annette’ wasn’t going away,” Fosgate said, explaining that “Ate” is a term of endearment for a respected older person.

Fosgate worked alongside the residents, helping with chores like sweeping floors and cleaning roofs.

“They saw that I wasn’t afraid of hard work,” Fosgate said, “that I wasn’t above them to do what they do. They found out I wash clothes like they do – by hand. That helped a lot in gaining respect.”

Dave and Beth Iliff moved to Korea for the year to teach, and were tuned in to Fosgate’s missionary work through her monthly letters. They arranged to help Fosgate over their three-week Christmas vacation.

“We just jumped in and stayed busy with her,” Beth said. “You could tell the relationship she built with those kids was real. Every place she’d go on the island, these kids would be following her around like the pied piper.”

Up to 100 kids of various ages mill about the open hut like ants in an anthill. The borrowed structure resembles a grass picnic shelter about 8 feet by 16 feet in size. Children hang from the sides, lay on the floor, sit on each others’ laps, and run in and out.

They adore Fosgate, tugging at her skirts, demanding her attention while she directs traffic during the after-school program. Dave and Beth play with the kids and help the older ones with homework. The others play games or color. None of the kids have crayons, games or toys at home.

Fosgate hopes that someday the ministry will raise enough money to buy land and build a structure big enough to accommodate the children. Currently, all the materials for meals and activities must be packed in and packed out on her scooter.

Fosgate recalled how rewarding it felt to listen to a 4-year-old girl, who doesn’t speak English, recite a Bible verse. Fosgate admits, though, that the work can also be discouraging. The children live in poverty and don’t get attention at home.

“They just want to be recognized. They just want to be looked at. They want a hug. They want a tussle on the head,” Fosgate said.

“That gets overwhelming sometimes when you see that need, that pressing need for love and they’re not getting it anywhere. But that’s the reason I’m down there – to show them that love, and to show them God’s love, too.

After spending nearly three weeks sharing Fosgate’s apartment and her missionary work, the Iliffs thought they may want to come back.

“On the porch of Annette’s bungalow one afternoon,” Dave recalled, “I just said (to Beth), ‘You know, honey, I could live here.’”

The two made a pact not to tell Fosgate their idea or to discuss it further for a month. They wanted to be sure that their decision was not based solely on emotion.

When they return to Panglao in September, they will both fill a much-needed niche.

Beth, who was a preschool teacher at Kootenai Valley Christian School for four years, plans to start a preschool program, focusing on building relationships with small children and their mothers.

Dave aspires to open up a small shop and teach teenage boys and young men a valuable trade.

“There’s a million motor scooters down there and all the fishing boats have a little Honda engine in them,” Dave said. “Just while we were there, our motor scooters broke down and you couldn’t find a reliable mechanic. There’s a need there.”

The island’s young men have little to do for work, Fosgate said, except fish, but that only yields about $2-$3 per day.

Fosgate attributes God and the people of Libby and Troy for helping the mission get through the year financially. She didn’t have enough promised support to guarantee that she would make it each month, but she kept the mindset that she would feed and teach lessons to the children until the money ran out – and it never did.

“People just kept coming through and I never had to miss a Saturday feeding because of lack of money. I never had to miss an after-school program because I didn’t have enough money for copies,” Fosgate said. “I would say 95 percent of my support last year came from Libby and Troy people.”

Raising money for the mission

• A rummage sale at Kootenai Valley Church, Aug. 7-8, 9 a.m.-3 p.m.

Donations can be dropped off at Kootenai Valley Church in Libby or at 512 E. Spokane St. in Troy.

• A car wash will be held Aug. 8 at the Pizza Hut parking lot in Libby.

• Tickets for a quilt raffle can be purchased at the Venture Inn.

• The Venture Inn is accepting donations of children’s games, books, art and school supplies and travel hygiene products.

• Cash donations can be made to Simple Faith Ministries at P.O. Box 811, Libby, MT 59923. Donations are made through the Kootenai Valley Church and are tax-deductible.

For questions, call Beth Iliff at 291-7868 or e-mail SimpleFaithMinistries@hotmail.com









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Thursday, July 9, 2009

Just noodling.....

-->I noticed it had been a while since I have been here....I like it here....though sometimes it is a little " intimidating.....White paper, fever.....a little like white coat high blood pressure...every time I see an empty page I am just forced to write on it..

One of my passions is herbs. I love to learn about herbs. I love to tell people what I have learned. I've met the nicest people by saying......"I use cinnamon to control my Diabetes. It don't hurt your liver!" Then we start a discourse....

This is a good day to count my Blessings.....I have a Gary in my life....a wonderful friend, mate and gentle person. Gosh! How he would hate to see I had written that.....But he has been my children's Dad all their lives...It only takes a half an hour or so to become a father...but it is a lifetimes commitment to be a Dad....

I can spoil My Mom any time I want...She has done us all the pleasure of living to be
86....So I can drive her wherever she need to go... I can spoil her in any way I see fit.
I can take her on rides and we can enjoy fire works into the wee hours of an Independence day morning...I can laugh with her all I want and feel her loving touch.

I have four beautiful healthy Grown children.One beautiful and very pregnant Daughter in law, whom I love.... and four wonderful healthy grand sons....(son says
they are NOT beautiful.....Beautiful is for girls!) He don't know what I am writing either! We have a Bill in our lives....He is Jen's fella' and loved like a son...

I have beloved friends I would not change for anything or any one....Some who are on line and some I know better than I know some of the people in this town where I grew to be an adult...And some I've never seen in person. I love them still, as though they lived next door. A few have come to my home...Not to look at my mess; and it is a mess....But to be friends who's adult children I have grown to love too....I am truly blessed...I've even made friends in my home town on the computer! How Blessed is that!!!

OK! Now to the most recent blessings. My Gary has had some lung surgery many years ago. They told me he could not possibly live ten years....28 years ago to be exact. He is still here!

He has grown to the point of needing 02...he has bottles! The other day a lady on my
>free cycle group gave him a concentrator....HEAVEN....They are so costly.. We could not afford one. Now he has one of his OWN..He can have it on all night long without worry his bottle will go empty!!!

Last winter the storage room roof developed a leak...Because Gary is a man..and he didn't think about my size, he put loads of stuff in my way. I couldn't get in there. I mean physically I didn't fit into the room he left me to squeeze in there..People with lung problems usually look like they are at the point of starvation. We resemble Jack Sprat and his wife! we had no idea the room was harboring mold, then we began to smell it in our little house!!! I knew we were in trouble.... Even my old dog was having asthma attacks. Gary could barely breathe! I could taste smell and felt it in my lungs. I got on my treadmill, a lady down the street GAVE me....I began to walk to clear my lungs. Gary couldn't do this....

One Morning Chris, who is my eldest son called and told me he was gonna come fix my roof, and clean out that room...Now the roof is half way done! He has cleared the old wall board out of that room! We put on a solid door to keep the mold captured in there till they can finish the work!

I joined Gleaners....Wonderful thing to do....Because of Gleaners I am saved about a hundred dollars or more in fruit and vegetables every month. I can actually afford Gasoline for my car. There is a tree hanging over our roof, and the heater in the living room has to be replaced before winter. Because of our belonging to gleaners I can get the heater this MONTH....the tree will have to wait a bit longer.... It is 1500 dollars, to remove it, as a dangerous tree...I have no doubt it will come..
From some where. It will come...It's not in my hands!

So now I am done "noodling" and counting blessings.....For now...I will probably send you more and more....cause God is good!
Hugs
Laurel


Thursday, June 25, 2009

Floating roses down the creek....


BellyBytes.com

BellyBytes.com


Today my Daughter is 40...Michael Jackson, and Farrah Fawcet are gone



for some reason .....I wouldn't know why,,,,I gave in to Macabre thoughts
of Death and dying......Here are a few quotes.....


1. It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be
there when it happens."

2. "The trouble with heart disease is that the first symptom is often
hard to deal with - sudden death."

3. "I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was
responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was
conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes."

4. "For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow
but phone calls taper off."

5. "A grave is a place where the dead are laid to await the coming of
the medical student."

6. "If your time hasn't come, not even a doctor can kill you."

7. "At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at
the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual."

8. "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to
achieve it through not dying."

9. "There are three natural anaesthetics: Sleep, fainting, and
death."

10. "Either he's dead or my watch has stopped."


I think Miss Fawcett was an institution....A dream of a young woman
who any one could aspire to look like.....She lost her battle to cancer...
It is a shame....because they are now announcing they have found a pill
that works on many cancers.....from the looks of what was listed I think
it would have encompassed hers...It will be here to late....

Michael Jackson's Mom was just going into the hospital when I ceased
watching on TV.....My heart is with her today...I'm a Mom...It makes
no difference what one's opinion of him may be....He was a son and he
was loved as a son.....

Hugs
Laurel






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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A well planned retirement Humor


Well-Planned Retirement From The London Times:

Outside the Bristol Zoo, in England, there is a parking lot for 150 cars
and 8 coaches, or buses.

It was manned by a very pleasant attendant with a ticket machine
charging cars £1 (about $1.40) and coaches £5 (about $7).

This parking attendant worked there solid for all of 25 years.

Then, one day, he just didn't turn up for work.

"Oh well", said Bristol Zoo Management -

"We'd better phone up the City Council and get them to send a new
parking attendant..."

"Err ... no", said the Council, "that parking lot is your
responsibility."

"Err ... no", said Bristol Zoo Management, "the attendant was employed
by the City Council, wasn't he?"

"Err ... NO!" insisted the Council.

Sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain, is a bloke who had
been taking the parking lot fees, estimated at £400 (about $620)
per day at Bristol Zoo for the last 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week,
this amounts to just over £3.6 million ($7.6 million)!

And no one even knows his name----








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Tuesday, June 9, 2009

some old time fiction


Sometimes that blank sheet is beautiful, so unmarred by forlorn thought....Some time it is terrifying...
It gives vent to all kinds of memories....I never know what is going to pop out of my head to be
remembered and written. Mostly I try to keep my life light and happy.....I was born in the Truman
era but the major part of my child hood was the Eisenhower years.....those halcyon years after the war.
Times then were not so automated as they are now. I think we older souls have a lot to teach the
younger generations. Ways to happily "make do" ......Ways to THANK GOD for what we have and
to find ways to make the object or reality fit into our lives......

When we were young Dad and Mom didn't have much...A few acres of the old homestead
property they BOUGHT from his parents. This property was at the top of a mountain and hard
to get to in winter. Very few crops would grow. Mom Did a wonderful job of growing a garden
and canning the produce. We had apple trees, we had a stream just a few feet from the back door
and we had a cold clear spring to drink from. All in all it was a "make do" Millionaires dream....


This house is still in use sixty five years after Dad and his brothers built it..It still is probably
not finished off on the inside. Dad never finished ANYTHING...If he painted a room and you looked
hard enough you could and would find a half inch square of unpainted area. It was a part of his
personality. In the kitchen he hid the unpainted square in one of the cupboards. I didn't find it, till
He and his brother were having one of their infamous rows and knocked the cupboard off
the wall. All of Mom's dishes went crashing to the ground....Mom poured their moon shine out The
door and into her flower garden Where it promptly killed about a dozen of her favorite petunias....That
was probably just before she "waded into those two drunks with her broom and a tirade
that would make a sailor blush!" There wasn't a dirty word in it. They KNEW what she meant. They
knew she meant business! That was just after I made a break for my brother's bunk
house! That kitchen was no place for a small kid who didn't move to fast!


That little"spit fire and chew Nails," woman could keep those drunken brawlers in line with the
fire in her eyes. There was a time to tease Mom...and a time to just GET out of her way! When
those coal colored eyes of hers started flashing lightening sparks off yonder wall. It was best that
small children and dogs make a break for the door! It was better to do so before they started throwing
the sparks. It kept a kid from getting ran over by a recalcitrant and probably drunken adult who
had wondered in craving Dad's booze or his attention!


The family got a land grant from Lincoln, cause they lost a brother in the Civil war. The land
grant was prairie land. Today, prime farm land. Those people were loggers and miners from the
land of the Welsh. They had no idea how to grow anything on dry land farm ground! They did the
logical thing. They traded the property for some tree lots way up in hells half acre a thousand
feet above the prairie floor and seven miles from the little town they would eventually found and
become important to! The town would become a shipping hub and the county seat. The people
would be the head of the school board. The mayors, police men and teachers. The people would
stay, and stay and stay....But the county seat would be moved to a better more prosperous town.
Once those who wanted it moved had set the red light district on fire to make the family drop their
shot guns and man water buckets. Those MEN knew what was more important to a rail road town!
The Battle cry WAS....."Let 'em have the county records! Save our sportin' Houses!"

I'll tell the story as told to me by Uncle Luke. Luke was a grand friend and a heck of a story
teller. He could gentle a horse ride like a movie star and tell a tale. He was a lumberjack. Well
they ALL were. For a while. Lumberjacks, most of them; have a mind set. They figure they
are in one of the most dangerous jobs in the world. Which is true. They also figure they better
live fast, cause they might not be here for long! That summed up my Uncle Luke! Luke was
a hard living, hard drinking man. He was up for a good fight and had one about once a week
with aunt Eava...She was the terror of the family!. She raised those brothers of hers and she
was gonna" keep them in line" if she had to ring their necks to get it done. There was only one
of her and four of them! Then she married Luke! For sport we would stick thumb tacks into the ceilings when he was seventy. He was so limber even at that age he would swing his leg up with his ever present "Romeo" slippers and push that tack into the ceiling with his toe!

The night of the Great fire Luke was at his favorite hide out, He had his foot on the rail of
the Mountain View's bar. He watched it all .

His tale went like this. The town council just
voted in a new fire house. It still stands on main. A little squat building made of native brick and daubed with concrete and sand. The building was just big enough
for the horse drawn fire wagon. Behind it stood a horse barn for the horses that dragged said fire wagon.That fire wagon was just delivered. The vollunteers spent days shining up the brass gadgets and spouts. It sported two metal bars that would need to be manned to go up and down, up and down, to pull the water from the newly painted fire plugs Bright RED, they were, so they were easy to see among the wild bachelor buttons and the lovely homes that were popping up all around . They were justly proud of so many of them proudly standing all over town!
The town was just getting up to date. They put in wooden water mains. There was a board
walk clear down Main from one end of town to the other. The local joke was, Now Luke would
have splinters in his knees too! Water was supplied to the town by a big reservoir on top
of the mountain. The pretty red fire plugs were in place. They thought they were all set for
what ever" came down the pike." Back then there were two train lines through here each
had a depot. The trains were coal fired and spit sparks and black coal soot all the way
from here to Milwaukee. We were the shipping hub of Northern Idaho. From here the
mines shipped their silver, The army brought in the "Buffalo soldiers" that manned fort
Coeur d' Alene. Such characters of history as Wyatt Earp and his lovely bride walked
the boardwalk. Calamity Jane and Hickok came through here. It was a thriving town.
They were proud of their pretty court house, their IOOF hall, their Catholic Church
with the red brick made in the back yard of one of the Georges of George town!
The Methodist Church Boundaried on the stream that was the pride of the prairie town. The church with it's beautiful windows not far from the
county seat of justice and power.

The Mountain View was a lovely two story white washed building with a long veranda and many many windows facing main street....The veranda was held up by hewn posts. I believe Uncle Luke and his Father built the building and installed the huge fire place in the main dining room. It faced the mountains with their yellow pine , Douglas fir hemlock and Tamarack.And the mighty Cedar trees of the Northwest. The streets were lilac lined and freshly oiled. It was a beautiful building fit for the luminaries that would one day grace the streets of the thriving little town!
It sat .next to the new drug store. It was one block to the railroad tracks, and another block or so to the cotton wood lined stream that murmured it's way past the Methodist church, the court house, and through the city park.
It was on the south side of main street and faced the block of rail road street where
the Milwaukee road had it's water tower. It was just down the street from the bank.
This was a proud little town. The railroad
built t a park and it even had a pool for the children. The only problem was.
Coeur D'Alene Village wanted to be the county seat! They wanted it so badly they'd
made at least one other attempt to steal the county records and tried to set the court
house ablaze. Uncle Luke and lots of other relatives guarded the court house with
shot guns and threatened to shoot anyone who walked around the place with so
much as a candle! (We can assume Uncle Luke was on guard duty from the front
veranda of the Mountain View!)

Luke had excellent hearing, The player piano played a sprightly tune, a few of the town ruffians were belly up to the bar talking and yelling. In short it was a normal night in a normal bar in North Idaho..It was with some shock that he realized;The fire bell was ringing furiously. CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! It called the volunteers to man the hand pump on their fire wagon! They could be seen riding on horse back even a few drove from the edges of town in their motorized cars. There was excitement in the air. There was a good bit of smoke, too.

Luke said he made a round about the court house as he left his
"post" to see what the bright light on the "wrong side of the tracks" possibly
could be. He road his Paint horse down to the end of town he was not allowed
into.....by edict of Eava!. He knew he best not be caught there. There were parts
of his anatomy he was rather fond of. He'd landed on one of those parts riding
rodeo.He knew what it felt like to land hard on a saddle horn and pound one IN!
He had no wish to feel any of the things she promised she would do if she ever
caught him on that side of town..That painted Pony of his was pretty hard to
hide.It stuck out like a sore thumb, Half the town knew him from his trick riding down Railroad ave. during the
last" pioneer days Celebration!:" He'd beat the train into town! Sometimes he was in the saddle, others he was running along side or swinging from the saddle horn. . The other half of the town was related to him! Worse yet, they were related
to her! He tied his Horse behind a big cotton wood tree next to the creek...It was very dark there and chances were he wouldn't be seen . He very quietly walked toward the flames and smoke. He didn't want anyone to see him skulking around the bad part of town!

It seemed he arrived ahead of the "Brand spanking new volunteer fire brigade."He was well hidden behind a rock wall When they came running up with their brand NEW fire wagon...They rolled that hose out like experts....they hooked up the hoses. They turned on the water and began to man the pump!!!
In his excitement,He climbed to the top of the wall! There were three or four men to each side of the pump...They pumped with all their might to get up pressure to shoot water at the burning building. Ladies of every description and Mode of dress stood along side the fence! Some were made up like china dolls and others just looked haggard in the glare of the ever brighter fire light..They stood in awe of the power of the fire that was chewing away at all they posessed in this world..Some cried, most just wrapped their garish shawls tighter around what ever they were wearin' when the dread call of "FIRE!" Broke the evenings revelry!

The fire raged! It was working it's way into the rafters. It seemed to him all the "ladies" were out...and a good many men he knew were dressed in their long johns boots and City hats!...He hid and he waited....They pumped and they pumped
and they Pumped.....He remarked in his later years he could have Peed a bigger stream.

It was about the time they discovered the brand spanking new water system was
NOT hooked to that bright red fire plug....someone yelled,"They are stealing
the records from the courthouse......and Uncle Luke fell off the wall !! He sprained one elbow painfully and made a grand spectacle of him self outside a sportin' house with all the" ladies," some wearin' nothin' but a shawl and their under drawers!


Eava Raised Dad. Their Mom was not well. AS children we were often told it was
Not polite to tell people." Grandma had Toys in her Attic!" In actuality she believed
there were people living in her attic. The fact that it was a one story house and had no attic didn't seem to deter her hallucination one iota! I still think of her when I smell Mint. To draw water from her spring one had to go behind the house between two bull pines...It was impossible to get a bucket of water without stepping on the mint leaves she'd caused to be planted along the water's edge..A visit to Grandma's house meant one of us had to go draw her a bucket full for coffee with heavy cream and a spoon full of molasses from the jar. That was about all you wanted to ever have at her house cause she burned everything she cooked...


Dad grew up on that hill. Life wasn't easy for his generation either. They knew how to survive!
The hills were full of deer, elk, and bear. There was a liberal sprinkling of Bob cat and cougar
too. They didn't eat them!

They grew black cap raspberries...Mmm I still remember the taste. They had a potato
patch. Grandma couldn't get corn to grow in that meadow no matter how she tried.
They finally relegated Grandma's meadow to Grandpa's logging horses and got their
corn from a jar!


Buck brush, huckleberries, and a tree claim lined their farm property. You had to walk through windfalls, and brush bigger than a tall man to get through the property if you didn't stay on the trail..There was a swamp for the breeding of mosquitoes We were not allowed to go in there.. It was also prohibition times the hills were sprinkled with moon shiners, probably cousins. Who
were hunted by the ever present Gov'ment men who were looking for their stills. If a shot rang out you did not go toward it to see if someone got a buck. You waited for them to come to you. There were things more dangerous than snakes and mountain goats in those hill's.


Dad said when he was young if the cows would get out, He would follow the
omnipresent cow bells.
Suddenly and seemingly out of no where there would be a man he did not know with a rifle
in hand. When he stepped out of the bushes the boys would stop dead in their tracks.
Much as I would if a menacing man in the mountain's told me to HALT! The boys were usually bare foot and if they had a gun it was a single shot 22 rifle. It was a varmint rifle meant to poach a deer now and then, or to shoot a bird for dinner.



The stranger (or older cousin) would tell him," son, your cows are over there!" He'd point toward a distant trail.

Dad was taught to say,"Yes sir!" even if he could see a cow with his own eyes ;standing
behind the stranger with the rifle. He knew that soon his cows would be on "yonder trail"
the gent pointed out to him. He would go to wait for the cows to come away from
the still, so he could herd them home! Many's the times he followed a cow home that seemed to have a wobbly gait from eating sour mash that was dumped when they were done with a run!

One old boy dumped his mash to the chickens. We would have never noticed his chicken house had "the odor" but we were over for some family band music playing, and hay riding. One of my older brothers pointed out to one of the girls that their chickens were walking funny! It looked sort of suspicious to see a Road Island Red who could barely walk....He sure as heck couldn't fly. His timing was all off too. He crowed any old time of day!

In later years Dad got his own still. He also had cows. He tended the still and sold
the proceeds up into my teen aged years. We'd stumble upon it occasionally when
the horses or cows got out. We knew enough to stay clear of that little circle of
brush and junk he'd built to shield such goin's on. We also knew enough NOT to mention
it to Mom!...She didn't hold with no dancing, card playing, or moon shining!

The old one room school Dad attended was still standing among the sugar maples that lined the road when I was a kid. It was
called the" George Town "school cause on the four corners just down the road the
homes were owned by men named George! My family tree is a terror. It is filled with
men named George and William! To find the right one for the right era you need to
know the right wife!

We held family dances, parties and big celebrations in the old school house.Anniversaries, Birthdays, and new babies were an excuse for Dad to bring out his fiddle, Luke would bring out his guitar and Evea played the piano. One of my Girl cousins played the accordion..I always fretted for her, that she would get her boo-sums caught up in that squeeze box! I never told no one. I didn't really care for her a lot. But it would have been very painful for her to catch her self up in her instrument!

The Old School was blessed with a "His" and a "hers" out house
They stood at either end of the back of the building. The door was half ways off the "Hers" so we all used the "His"..These were really utilitarian little buildings. They each had two holes for one to sit upon or squat over. Depending upon you belief in germs, and how high you thought they could jump. The "his"was "tricked out" with a false ceiling they stuck a mason jar or six up there for
those who wanted to have a little nip! He was expected to leave six bits or so in another mason jar. It was for the "Community chest" as Dad put it!
I don't know how they could stand the stench long enough to get a "nip!" That
school had been there most of Dad's life and all of mine! I don't remember them
ever moving the outhouse...Or digging it a new hole....or fixing the door on the "hers!" I guess they figured we could stand in line and take our chances....It was understood, when a party was in full swing one should knock very very hard!

Just as the family band was breaking into "Good Night Irene"
One of my aunts found her husband drinking from the communal Mason jar. He'd
obviously contributed several dollars to the "community fund" that went with the
jar. She was NOT a happy family member.She was a little short woman, she wasn't as tall as Mom.....She had fire red hair, and she could fight with the Men! I never saw anyone like her! Unlike Mother, she knew a LOT of
dirty words. Words I never knew before were emitted from that outhouse! Wow-weee
A kid could sure get an education hanging out by the old School house on a
Sharp autumn night!

Aunt gave Uncle "what fore" ;then she went lookin' for her brothers! Well HECK!
I think that stash came from her Daddy's still. I don't think her brothers had any
thing to do with the sobriety of her hubby!..

When she couldn't get none of those smart men to go outside with her she decided
the mason jars needed to be dumped into the hole! She stepped up on the bench
to reach the false ceiling....Her very angry husband gave that ole' out house a small
tip.....and over she went, leaving a very angry woman to make her way out the bench
two hole system and across the hole, in the ground. She sure needed new shoes
and socks when she reached the other side....She was just about to teach me a new
crop of words. I was sure of it!....When Mother came to get me, She wasn't a bit
gentle about it either....

That was when Mom took us kids home. The Model A was running. Dad was smoking
a cigarette behind the wheel. Mom was just SMOKING..on her side of the car...Come
to think of it. That was one of the last family parties I ever remember attending at the
ole George town school house.....OH there was one other.....the night we lost
Grand dad.....but that's for another time......








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Sunday, April 19, 2009

Spring! Beautiful Spring...

Spring is finally HERE....IDAHO in spring time is something

to see....the lakes are pure blue...the mountains are still snow packed.

The Glacier Lilly are finally in bloom along the hillside, so are

the purple "bird bills" and the yellow bells....

The weather is not warm yet...and my yard is a foot or so deep

in old leaves...I started to rake the yard to clear off the daffodils

that are threatening to bloom through the garbage....picked up

my rake only to find the handle is broken out of it!...So much

for yard work....I might as well go tramp in the woods.....

The bears are out now, Looking for winter kill Deer the wolves

left behind..Wolves and some bear will kill just because they

are running and seem to be prey....they will kill and kill and

kill......In this area we used to have timber wolves...A bounty

was placed on them.....they were killed off....One of man's bright

ideas....Now Brighter YET......they have replanted them with

the monster sized arctic wolf!.....one wolf can take down a full

sized elk or moose in the snow......It seems to amuse them to

kill and kill and kill....God help our Deer, elk, and moose population..

we have bears, black and grizzly, cougar, Bobcat, and a few Lynx

and now we have Arctic wolves of huge proportion...I'm glad

I'm not a Deer!









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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

For us old farts....

The Older Crowd



THE OLDER CROWD





A distraught senior citizen

phoned her doctor's office.

'Is it true,' she wanted to know,

'that the medication

you prescribed has to be taken

for the rest of my life?'

'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her .





There was a moment of silence

before the senior lady replied,

'I'm wondering, then,

just how serious is my condition

because this prescription is marked

'NO REFILLS'.'
************ ********* ********* ***

An older gentleman was

on the operating table

awaiting surgery

and he insisted that his son,

a renowned surgeon,

perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia,

he asked to speak to his son.

'Yes, Dad, what is it? '

'Don't be nervous, son; do your best

and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me,

your mother is going to come and

live with you and your wife.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~

Aging:

Eventually you will reach a point

when you stop lying about your age

and start bragging about it.

------------ --------- --------- ---

The older we get, the fewer things

seem worth waiting in line for.

------------ --------- --------- ---

Some people

try to turn back their odometers.

Not me!

I want people to know 'why'

I look this way.

I've traveled a long way

and some of the roads weren't paved.

************ ********

When you are dissatisfied

and would like to go back to youth,

think of Algebra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~

You know you are getting old when

everything either dries up or leaks.

------------ --------- --------- -


One of the many things

no one tells you about aging

is that it is such a nice change

from being young.

<><><><><><><><><>

Ah, being young is beautiful,

but being old is comfortable.

<><><><><>><><><>

First you forget names,

then you forget faces.

Then you forget to pull up your zipper.

It's worse when

you forget to pull it down.

------------ -------- --------- ---

Long ago

when men cursed

and beat the ground with sticks,

it was called witchcraft.. .

Today, it's called golf.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.

The first old guy says to the second guy,

'Sorry about that.

I'm looking for my wife,

and I guess I wasn't paying attention

to where I was going.'

The second old guy says,

'That's OK, it's a coincidence.

I'm looking for my wife, too.

I can't find her and I'm

getting a little desperate.'

The first old guy says, 'Well,

maybe I can help you find her.

What does she look like?'

' The second old guy says,

'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,

with red hair, blue eyes,

long legs, and is wearing short shorts.

What does your wife look like?'

To which the first old guy says,

'Doesn't matter, let's look for yours.'








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